Category: Dining Entente Cordiale

You do all that work—invitations, shopping, preparing an awesome meal.

A wonderful evening you envision. You sense one abounding in cordiality, universal involvement, and engaging conversation.

Instead, you realize that the evening could go flat. Rather than a triumph, conversation could lag. Then the tiring talk about pets, family, bills, costs, ailments, and neighbors somewhat revives it. Some people struggle to take part. Others monopolize. People leave appreciative of your efforts, but relieved to go home.

Hosts usually aim to enrich relationships.

Yet, they realize that a meal alone, no matter how sensational, may not achieve such.

However, they know what can. That is a great conversation.

But where might they find a catalyst for this? How is it introduced?

This website proposes a catalyst and vehicle.

My wife and I like having dinner guests. We, too, have faced these dilemmas.

Some advice we gleaned from professional dinner organizers. One recommended: “By the way, if you don’t usually prepare topics for conversation, you should.” 1 Another declared: “If it makes your guests uncomfortable, then avoid it.”

With this sound advice, we concur with a couple of provisos.

The first regards uncomfortable subjects. Often, hosts interpret this as excluding politics and religion. To that I say, “No way!” I maintain that if you and your guests are adult enough to speak of such with reasonable gentility, then go for it. (Disregard, however, if you live in certain settings. Those include Putin’s Russia, Xi Jinping’s China, and the Ayatollah’s Iran. Of course, add Kim Jong Un’s North Korea and Lukashenko’s Belarus. Note too that MAGA America also aims for this list.)

The second proviso is about preparing. Some think that identifying interesting topics completes the task.

In fact, engaging subjects, while important, are not good conversation’s sole precursor.

What else does a dinner need? An appropriate format helps. This reduces the likelihood of these discussion derailments:

• The topics do not take.
• Conversation veers to uncomfortable tangents like gossip.
• A catty remark causes hurt.
• Veering the conversation back to more appropriate realms makes the host seem tyrannical.

What is a dining format? It is a structure that provides:

• A comfortable setting for hosts and guests to share thoughts; and
• Boundaries that help maneuver the conversation toward a desired goal.

The idea of a dinner format is not unique. Search the internet. Examples there one can explore.

Some popular ones include Jeffersonian and Zeldin dinners.

In certain circumstances, we perceive how each might work well.

Still, they seemed inappropriate for our home dinners. A successful Jeffersonian, for example, hinges upon having a somewhat authoritarian moderator. Such did not seem to fit a pleasant occasion with four to six neighbors and friends. The Zeldin dinner elicits too much personal information from guests.

So we opted for another solution–“Dining Entente Cordiale.” That is dining pursuant to a friendly agreement, a working relationship, or an accord.

The gist of the idea is this: Guests and hosts agree to dine together to tackle a set of issues.

Book clubs operate somewhat like this.

So, does the Sky News program, “The Wrap.” There, a host moderates a discussion with prominent guests from the British press. Together, they parse daily articles from assorted newspapers and tabloids.

Major components of this format include:

• Issuing invitations informing of the conversational dinner, plus
• Supplying guests beforehand with the discussion material, drafted questions, and the meal’s itinerary.

Sounds like a lot of work! Well, yes, it can be.

At this site, though, we take on much of that. For each dinner option, we present much of what the evening needs. We supply topics, a sample invitation, review material, dinner questions, and an itinerary.

Of this format, there is an important benefit. It fosters colorful interactions among guests and hosts.

People in our modern world seldom have the opportunity to discuss the same texts with others. This is especially so in light of the alarming decline in local print media. Often, people’s information flows from the particular news outlets toward which they incline. Seldom do they sit down together to talk about material from a shared source.

In our format, our guests have agreed to be familiar with the same text. To it, they bring their own perspectives. Yet, these perspectives focus upon the shared material.

This format also encourages guests to explore issues with different people. That is with those outside our normal conversation groups. Seldom are we versed in a subject with people of different backgrounds. At our dinner, everyone can discuss the issues at hand. All have had an opportunity to review the text/s and the questions. The result is often refreshing perspectives expressed.

There are, of course, disadvantages.

One of the things mentioned before is that it requires more up-front work for all involved. The guests have more preparation added to their busy lives. The hosts have increased moderating responsibilities.

The format compensates the guests with a good meal, refreshing conversation, and camaraderie.

The hosts, too, can present a more fluid, organized, rewarding evening.

Our Dinner

My wife and I plan to host Entente Cordiale dinners. There, we will moderate a conversation with four to six friends.

After the dinner, I will draft a report. This will include an “after-action review” in which my guests, my wife, and I take part. Our goal will be to memorialize the evening. We should capture what went well. That should also include what needs improvement. Further, it aims to capture how to improve.

Once we record these, others who wish to host a similar dinner will have access to our insights.

We aim to have other prepared topics.

If you have ideas for such, let us know.

In the meantime, feel free to use the topic(s) presented.

If you do, please give us feedback on how well it worked for you.

Try the Entente Cordiale format. See what captivating twists it brings to your next dinner!